This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize