How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
