thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
