u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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