If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
