i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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