So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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