i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
