addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
