Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
