I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
