One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
My boob is missing a layer of skin
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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