How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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