Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
oh god the rape fog is back!
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
