mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
