Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
