Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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