I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
