every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
