Pappa wants mamma naked
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I enjoy the company of your penis
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
