It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Randomize
