we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
be right there i have to get my cape
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
