I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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