No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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