Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
