she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
