why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
