So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
