so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
