Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
