remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
