youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Randomize
