what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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