Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
