haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
