You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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