she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
