Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
