Christians are straight up FREAKS
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
