I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
