its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Randomize
