do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
