I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
