I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
