I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Randomize
