Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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