I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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