dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
