I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
