do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
