I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
