What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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