went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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