I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
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