If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
There's always time for handjobs
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize