I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
