oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
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