I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
