Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
