i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize