Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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