i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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