Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
