The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
This couple is walking their pig around campus
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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