Sorry, I don't speak sober.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
the liver wants what the liver wants
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize