conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Drunk is not a location!
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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