he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
